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Matthew 5:4 — “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
I hate Thursdays.
It’s the day my wife has to leave for work.
And I know, logistically, that Calinan isn’t that far.
But the distance it creates in a marriage is never really about the kilometers involved.
It’s about the empty chair at dinner and the quieter house and the side of the bed that stays cold until she returns.
I dread Thursdays.
I don’t say that out loud much.
I just feel it arriving on Wednesday night and I brace for it quietly, like bracing for an unstoppable storm.
I’ve talked to her about going back to church.
I talked about our marriage being affected by us being poor in spirit… that there’s a particular emptiness in our marriage because we can no longer see clearly what should matter over distractions brought about by phones and technology.
I meant every word of it.
And then Thursday’s coming again.
And I feel sad again.
I’ve gotten very good at managing mu mourning by staying busy with work and housework. I guess I’m lucky that Lyle is around because he’s always needing something, which is honestly the most effective distraction for every day that his mom is not around.
I fill the hours.
The hours eventually pass.
I fill it with activities until she eventually comes home.
But I’ve been sitting with this verse and it’s doing something to me. Because mourning, the way Jesus describes it, isn’t weakness either.
It’s honesty.
It’s feeling the weight of something real and not pretending otherwise.
The blessing isn’t in the sadness itself… it’s in what the sadness points toward.
A longing for something whole.
A marriage that doesn’t feel like shifts and schedules. A faith that holds two people together when the weekdays keep pulling them apart.
We said we’re going back to church.
I think Thursday mornings and mournings are exactly why.
