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New Year’s Day has always been symbolic for me.
A clean slate.
A quiet moment between what was and what could be.
And as 2026 begins, I find myself standing in that uncomfortable space where endings and beginnings overlap—where you don’t fully want one, but you’re slowly accepting the other.
This year, the word that keeps surfacing is marital dissolution.
Not because I wanted it, but because life has slowly pushed me in that direction.
I don’t like it.
I don’t want it.
When I was younger, I truly believed that marriage was forever. As a child, I even pretended my toys got married—and in my head, once they were married, that was it.
Forever.
No breakups.
Permanence.
Yeah, even little boys dream about those things.
Maybe I was influenced by my older sister and her friends, always talking about love stories, prince charmings, dolls getting married, and happily-ever-afters.
Or maybe I was just wired that way.
Either way, I grew up a romantic when it came to marriage.
I cry at weddings.
There.
I said it.
Marriage, to me, was never just a legal contract.
It was sacred.
It was something you protected.
My parents’ marriage reinforced that belief in me.
My mom and dad were married until my mom passed away from cancer.
If they had marital problems—and I’m sure they did—they were incredibly efficient at shielding us from it. Because of that, marriage in my mind stayed pristine, solid, and idealistic.
Something strong enough to weather anything.
The first time that image cracked was when my sister dated a man whose marriage had been annulled.
At the time, I didn’t care much because it wasn’t my relationship.
But looking back, that was the first time I realized that marriages could actually end—legally, emotionally, completely.
It quietly eroded my belief that marriage was unbreakable.
And now, here I am.
In a marriage that feels like it’s standing on the edge—one foot already off the cliff.
Knowing that hurts more than I ever imagined it would.
What Is Marital Dissolution?
Marital dissolution is a broad term that refers to the breakdown of a marriage, emotionally, physically, and legally. In countries with divorce, dissolution usually ends with divorce.
In the Philippines, where divorce is still not legally available, marital dissolution takes different forms.
These forms don’t always mean the marriage ends immediately—but they often signal that something fundamental has already changed.
Common Forms of Marital Dissolution
- Emotional separation
- Physical separation
- Legal separation
- Annulment
- Declaration of nullity
Each one carries different consequences, especially for families with children.
There is No Divorce in the Philippines, But There’s a Workaround
In the Philippines, marriage is considered permanent—at least on paper.
Because of this, couples who can no longer function as partners are left with limited options.
A Simple Comparison
| Form | Living Together? | Can Remarry? | Marriage Still Valid? |
| Physical Separation | No | Yes | Yes |
| Legal Separation | No | No | Yes |
| Annulment | No | Yes | No |
| Declaration of Nullity | No | Yes | Marriage considered void |
Understanding these differences matters—not just legally, but emotionally.
Physical Separation: When Distance Comes First
Physical separation happens when a couple no longer lives together, even if there is no court order. This is often the first real step toward dissolution, whether intentional or not.
How Physical Separation Happens
- One spouse moves out
- Emotional distance turns into physical distance
- Communication becomes minimal or hostile
- Daily life is lived separately
In many cases, physical separation isn’t planned. It’s the result of exhaustion, repeated arguments, and emotional withdrawal.
Effects on the Family
- Children sense tension even without explanations
- Routines are disrupted
- Stability becomes fragile
- Silence replaces connection
This is the part I struggle with the most.
I do not want to be separated, because I know how deeply it can affect my son. Children don’t just lose routines—they lose a sense of safety. And even when parents try to shield them, kids feel the cracks forming long before adults admit they exist.
Legal Separation: When the State Gets Involved
Legal separation is a formal court process. It allows spouses to live apart and divide property, but the marriage remains valid. Neither party can remarry.
Grounds for Legal Separation (Examples)
- Repeated physical violence
- Psychological abuse
- Abandonment
- Sexual infidelity
- Addiction (including behavioral addictions)
What Legal Separation Changes
- Custody arrangements become formal
- Property relations may be separated
- Financial responsibilities are defined
- The emotional distance becomes permanent
For many families, legal separation is less about closure and more about survival.
Emotional Infidelity and the Many Faces of Cheating
Cheating isn’t always physical. Oh I know this part because I’ve cheated in the past. Multiple times and I’ve justified my actions before like: “we’re only friends”, “it was nothing”, all forms of excuses.
So maybe what I’m experiencing now is karma from all the stuff I did in the past.
Different Forms of Cheating
- Physical infidelity – sexual relationships with someone else
- Emotional infidelity – deep emotional investment outside the marriage
- Digital infidelity – secret online conversations, late-night chats
- Neglect-based betrayal – choosing something else consistently over the family
When a partner becomes fully invested elsewhere, the marriage slowly starves.
In my case, it feels like my wife has already moved on with her life, deeply immersed in an online game—having late-night conversations with people online.
What hurts most isn’t just suspicion, but absence.
She has escaped reality into her game and refuses to admit that she is addicted to it.
How Gaming Addiction Breaks Families
Gaming, like any escape, becomes dangerous when it replaces real life.
Warning Signs of Gaming Addiction
- Staying up late consistently
- Emotional withdrawal from family
- Explosive reactions when confronted or disturbed. Children often get the full brunt of this explosive anger because they want attention that you can’t or won’t give.
- Avoidance of responsibility
- No effort to address real-life problems
Instead of fixing what was wrong in her life, she chose escape.
I tried to fix what could be fixed.
But when you experience rejection again and again—when every attempt to reconnect is met with indifference or anger—even the strongest man eventually stops knocking.
The constant arguments.
The explosive yelling.
The noise that literally hurts my ears.
Peace became impossible.
The Impact on a Child
Children don’t need perfect parents.
They need present ones.
Effects of Marital Breakdown on Children
- Anxiety and confusion
- Self-blame
- Emotional withdrawal
- Academic and behavioral changes
This is why I held on longer than I probably should have.
Not for comfort.
Not for pride.
But for my son.
Choosing Growth in the Middle of Loss
As 2026 begins, I’ve decided that if I can’t control how my marriage ends, I can at least control how I move forward.
Changes I’ve Started Making
- Eating less and eating better
- Making small, realistic health changes
- Walking 45 minutes every early morning, because that’s the only time I have when I’m not cooking, washing the dishes, washing the clothes, cleaning up, or taking care of our son.
- Facing my stage fright and recording myself singing cover songs for my band’s TikTok and Instagram – AcidRadius
- Committing to consistent content across all the websites I own
- Post YouTube videos
This year isn’t just about new beginnings.
It’s about acknowledging endings that already happened quietly—through silence, avoidance, and emotional distance.
Marital dissolution doesn’t start in court.
It starts when effort disappears.
As painful as this chapter is, I’m choosing to step into 2026 with clarity, health, creativity, and purpose—not bitterness.
Some endings are not failures.
They are truths finally spoken.
And sometimes, the bravest New Year’s resolution is simply this:
To stop abandoning yourself while trying to save something that no longer exists.
