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For the longest time I have been depressed. I recently watched “The Beaver” starring Mel Gibson and was surprised at the many similarities his depression had with mine.
Thank god I am conscious enough to know I was going down a dark spiral and made a decision to change my situation.
My depression was caused by the very thing I loved to do. Work.
I have always worked ever since I could remember. I was always thinking about how to earn money even at a young age.
Games were things I did not indulge in unless I knew there was something I could get out of it. Tys were just little trophies I bought to reward myself for all the “hard work” I did.
And yet I wanted more.
I could not put a name on it then.
Now I can.
It is freedom.
Freedom to do what I want to do. Freedom to express myself.
I was happy earning money as a manager but not as happy as when I was playing in my band for free.
Or earning pennies from writing.
I have come to realize that I dealt with my depression in the only way I could before. Work and move past it. I never addressed it.
After leaving my job as a manager and working as a Networker and having a lot more freedom, I can now say I am slowly taking back what I had lost working as an employee for a very long time.